A polished personality is, at core, a magnetic one - passport to success in social life, and an excellent career-push.
Many youngsters nurse the illusion that it is an inborn quality. Hence one is lucky if one has it and those who don't can do nothing about it. If you have nurtured this concept, then you are a fatalist who follows the lines on his palm but makes no effort to re-cast them.
True, good physical appearance is a gift of God. But there are millions in the world who have been deprived of good looks and yet they have attractive personalities. Attractive appearance and a polished personality are two different things that are often confused and equated with each other.
The former denotes physical features, the latter mental, intellectual and other invisible attributes. For example, a girl may have a fair, lovely complexion, raven crop of hair and a stunning figure. She has an attractive appearance. But this does not mean that she has a mentally and intellectually impressive personality. She may be a dove outside but a dodo inside!
A polished personality is burnished, lustrous and refined.
What can you do about your personality?
You can transform it. You can re-cycle it by changing the perception of your appearance - a solution which is practical and attainable.
"What really matters is how you feel about your looks. It is more important than how you actually look". Men and women who perceive themselves as physically unattractive tend to have poor self-esteem, difficulty in social situations and career problems. A poor body image is one of the main elements in self-rejection. To live without self-acceptance is tormenting.
Looks do count in work and career. But everyone is not born a Katrina or Ranbir. People are drawn to those with impressive appearance. However, the effort you put into accepting your appearance is of more enduring benefit. Positive thinking and appropriate actions are the keys to accept your appearance. You can learn to like far-from-ideal looks.
A polished personality is not necessarily just a stunningly beautiful or handsome appearance. It has attractive attributes which exert an irresistible power over others.
Such a person makes friends easily, has little difficulty in exercising leadership. He carries others along effortlessly. In short, he draws people to himself. This is an invaluable asset in climbing the slippery stairs of success.
Personality is a fabric of many interwoven tricots, as a rug woven of many strands of difficult colours. Your personality is unique. Develop it. Make it grow, naturally like the branches of a tree. First of all carry out a self-assessment exercise and then set about changing your personality accordingly. There is no reason why you should not have what you want. It is a matter of developing certain habits and attitudes.
Be friendly and give evidence that you are. Don't wait for others to take initiative. Do it yourself. Open conversation without waiting for others to break the ice.
Offer help or information or do something that will help others to be more comfortable or competent.
Be more outgoing and trusting. Do like people. See their good points.
Make the other person talk about himself and his interests. A good talker talks about others, a bore about himself! Les Giblin in How to have confidence and Power in dealing with People, describes this as giving your conversation a "You-turn". An attentive ear and you have bagged the man!
You can give refreshing novelty and robustness to your personality by challenging and questioning stereotypes. "What is the justification for it?" can provide you new vistas of thinking.
The more persistently you press such questions, the more deeply you pursue knowledge, steering clear of superficialities. Such an approach makes you more self-reliant and an objective thinker.
One way to win someone's esteem is to boost his ego by praising and appreciating. Be generous in praise. To refuse praise amounts to censure!
Look at things from the other person's viewpoint. It develops understanding. When it is found that you have this quality, you are bound to be known as an attractive and a pleasant person.
This good quality nurtures harmony in social, business and professional spheres as it reduces the areas of conflict and friction. The great advantage is that others give favourable assessment of your personality.
